So the past few weeks I have been feeling a little apprehensive, confused and demotivated to be honest. The reason being that I am wondering what route I want my little blog to go down, how I want to make a career for myself and the fact that I have a ticket for a blogging event tomorrow, my first ever time attending Britmums Live. From what I've read on social media, it seems like a wonderful place for the blogging community to connect, reach out to one another and embrace what we all love to do. For me though I'm excited, but feeling more on the nervous side. I think deep down its a case of not feeling 100% about the fact i'm taking my 10 week old baby to a busy city & event, but also the fact that I get so nervous and shy when meeting new people, lack confidence when it comes to introducing myself and just over all feeling like a fish out of water - despite the excitement of learning so many cool things, the feeling of learning more about myself as well and meeting lots of people I've only spoken to through social media, blogs or only met once. Its a big thing when you're not use to doing it isn't it? but its something, a fear almost that I want to overcome as I know I want to 'find myself' in this blogging community and take my little blog bigger places.
So as mentioned above, I've been feeling a little distant from my blog lately, obviously having a new baby along with three little children leaves me with very little spare time but in my mind I know I want more for my little space on the net and that definitely takes planning. So with the small amount of time I do get I've been doing just this, but most days I end up in a rut in my brain where I think about trying too much then get frustrated of how I can 'get there', reach my goals. One of my biggest passions is my photography, and even videography. I love that it challenges me, I love to capture our life and find the beauty in the everyday. So thats something I don't doubt, its things like how I want my blog to look, actually completing draft posts and not leaving them until its too late, how to promote myself to brands I'd love to build working relations with, what I want my blog to cover without doing it all with no purpose you know?
I have so many things I want to write about, photograph, video. Push my self and my create ability including that in building a small business. Mr T has recently taken the plunge and started up his own business too which is amazing and inspiring. I just sometimes get dampened spirits sometimes when I feel like anything i'm attempting makes no sense, or I struggle to complete something, the moments when i'm thinking about so much that I find it hard to focus on anything at all. a couple of years a go I started up my photography & design business, it was small beginnings but confidence issues slowed me down and I don't want this to be the case anymore, in any aspect of my life. In a few months I'm definitely hoping to get things back on track with a fresh perspective, including the business start up. At the moment, all I know is that I have ideas, I just need to be wise to which ideas I pursue with my passions and time.
I want to do these things I love, I want to show my littles to feel confident in themselves while growing up too, to know that their abilities are worth everything and to believe in what they can do if they set their minds to it. Even if its little things such as stepping out of your comfort zone to attend an event in London.
So tomorrow, I'm going to hold my head high even if it doesn't feel easy, I want to feel at ease while meeting new people, I want to go home at the end of the day having gained a little bit more inspiration from some people who have a creative mindset too and to know that i'm not alone in this way of thinking.
Do you feel like this sometimes? If you do i'd love to chat!
And if you're attending Britmums tomorrow, come & say hi!
I'll be with my littlest baby girl and i'm sure she will offer lots of welcoming smiles too!